Tales of a Family

Katie’s Part Three: What We Learned

A Virginia Writer’s Diary

Part Three: What We Learned

My name is Katie, and I am a procrastinator.

That…was not as hard to admit as I thought.

But seriously, I am. And I do have a hard time admitting it to myself, especially now that my free time is limited and I have to be deliberate with how I structure my days. I put things off until they become a problem, and then instead of just a task, I have a problem. And then I’m stressed because I have a problem, and then I put off solving the problem until the very last minute. (This also applies to writing. And laundry. And making dinner.)

You know what makes it harder to procrastinate? Having a routine, and that’s something A Virginia Writer’s Diary has given me. I post once a week these days – I used to try for three times a week – and no matter what else is happening, I get something up on the blog.

So, there’s something I’ve learned. Give yourself a task that has to get done every week, and commit to finishing it.

But that’s a small lesson, something most people learn in a similar way. Let’s dig deeper.

I’m a perfectionist. I think it’s part of why I’m a procrastinator, honestly, because I don’t like putting my work out there until it’s perfect. But perfection doesn’t exist in this world, and I’ll make myself crazy striving for something that isn’t attainable. For years, this drive to produce perfection kept me from even getting started on writing projects. I’d write a sentence or two, decide it was irredeemably terrible slop, and stop.

It became a maddening cycle, and I desperately wanted to break out of it.

So I started writing monthly short stories. Always around a yearly theme, always posted by the end of a month. I figured any story, regardless of how not-perfect, was better than no story at all. Just choosing to write was better than not writing. This routine changed my brain. I don’t write for perfection anymore. I write because I love it, and because I hope that even if a story isn’t perfect, someone else out there will love it, too. I always hope the story I write finds its way to the person who needs it. And once I post a story, it does and doesn’t belong to me anymore. It’s my work, but the way it makes people feel, the smiles and tears, the laughs, even the boredom – those belong to the readers.

I often wish I could do things better. I wish I were a better writer, faster and more adept at dialogue and more artful with my words and more lyrical with my sentences. I wish I were a better mother, and a better person. I try to be kind, to be present, to be patient, to be loving. I succeed more times than I don’t. I do the work. In all things, I do the work. And I think that’s my biggest lesson from blogging for ten years: DO. THE. WORK.

It’s as simple and as difficult as that. Show up. Try. If you fail, try again. Keep trying. Keep working.

If I do nothing else in a day, I always do the work.

Annie’s Section: The Lessons I Have Discovered

Some journeys start from the heart with excitement, expectations, and growing anticipation of where the trail might lead. For me, this writing adventure has grown and changed, helping me discover so much about my family, my dreams, and my hopes for the future. Sometimes the most meaningful journeys begin before we fully understand where they are taking us.

Ten years ago, I began this blog with a collection of memories and a desire to keep them from disappearing. I did not have a detailed plan or an understanding of where this journey might lead. I only knew that the people, places, and moments that influenced my life deserved to be remembered.

Over the years, Tales of a Family has grown and changed, and so have I. Looking back now, I realize that writing these stories has taught me almost as much about myself as it has about my family.

One of the first lessons I discovered was that ordinary lives give rise to extraordinary stories. Stories do not need to be dramatic or perfect to matter. Some of the best events unfold on an ordinary day, just another square on the calendar when nothing exciting was planned. But then life offers us a joyful glimpse of everyday love.

Those are the precious moments spent together while sitting on porches, enjoying coffee around a kitchen table, or watching the naughty antics of grandchildren or the playful antics of dachshund pups. Those ordinary moments of life often become the anecdotes we treasure most.

Memories become clearer when we write them down. It helps me remember the details I do not want to forget, the voices, expressions, traditions, and personalities of the people I cherish, as well as the places and experiences that molded my life.

Writing prompts about songs, photographs, special places, family conversations, and familiar trinkets open the door to an entirely new story. One memory often leads to another, revealing details that have been quietly waiting to be revealed. Writing simply does not record our histories; it helps us to return to them, understand them, and see them in a whole new light.

Stories connect the generations. Every story I preserve provides my family, friends, and readers with a glimpse of the people who lived amazing lives so long ago. Each tale preserves the voices that may otherwise be lost. When sharing my stories, I help future generations grasp where they came from.  These stories become knit into the fabric of our everyday lives, bringing to mind the strength, courage, and love handed down to us as a precious gift.

Another lesson I found was that writing takes courage. While some stories are joyful, others involve grief, regret, loss, or difficult lessons. Writing honestly means that I must be vulnerable, and that was a difficult task. There are times when returning to a moment in time means returning to emotions that I thought I had stowed safely away. When we are willing to write from the heart, others recognize a piece of their own lives within our stories. And often, our most personal stories are the ones that deeply touch my readers.

Finding my voice has also been a piece of this journey. I wanted my writing to have a creative confidence and style that was all my own. Although it required practice and time, I believe my writing has become warmer, more confident, and more reflective. And while I believe I still have much to learn, I trust the ways I tell my tales. A writer’s voice develops through writing, and not waiting until it’s perfect.

I found that creativity can begin at any age. My blog has grown into more than a place to record memories. It has encouraged me to write fiction, poetry, short stories, and flash fiction. It inspired me to write short stories for a recent family book, with another in the works. It has also given me a new dream: writing a novel. There has never been an age limit on discovering a new dream or writing a new chapter.

Over time, I learned that readers want connection, not perfection. Not every sentence has to be flawless; my readers want stories that are genuine, familiar, and heartfelt. People remember how a story made them feel, and that connection is one of the greatest gifts a writer can offer.

Perhaps, most importantly, writing has helped me find my way home. Home represents my faith, my family, my friends, Colorado, the mountains, the treasured memories, and even the person I have become through all the seasons of life. Sometimes we begin writing to find our stories, but the stories help us discover ourselves.

After ten years, I understand that storytelling has become not just something I do; it has become a part of who I am. I have learned to value ordinary moments, trust my own voice, and write even when the words are imperfect.

Most of all, I learned that our stories matter. They connect us to the past, bring meaning to the present, and leave something behind for those who come after us.

I may not know where the next ten years will lead, but I know that there are memories lingering waiting to be revealed, characters waiting to come to life, and stories waiting to be told.

And I am not finished writing them.