Words

Words hold power.

April showers? Umm. more like a hurricane…

At the end of April, my world turned upside-down. Unkind, angry words from someone I once admired, ripped me to pieces. His tirade made me question EVERYTHING in my world, and it took some time for me to examine the aftermath of his fallout.

Life was put on hold as I struggled through each day. Thankfully, work kept me distracted since the last month of school tends to be the busiest time of year for a teacher. But once summer arrived, I couldn’t shake the overwhelming heartache of this situation. He made me question myself, and I allowed doubts to creep in about every aspect of life: work, friendships, life.

I lost pleasure in the little things that life had to offer. I stopped walking the dogs while trying to rationalize all the extra hours I was throwing into my job. My blog was put on hold. Writing and research lost all its excitement since my brain focused on all the ugliness of one episode in late April. But even on the rare occasions that I tried pecking away on my keyboard, my laptop also conspired against me, and I could not save my work. At that point, I decided to wait until June arrived to try and salvage my wounded pride and hurting heart and the missing pieces of my world.

On the first day of summer break, I continued to work. After all, lesson plans required updating, and new ones would be circling the drain if I didn’t get busy. I continued to ignore everything else, so I wouldn’t be reminded of April’s disaster.

But today it has been one week since school ended for summer, and I decided it was time to face the fallout. First, I wasn’t the only person he verbally attacked. Shocked and horrified colleagues united as we discovered more than one had been on the receiving end of his cruel words. But why, I wondered, do we tend to take the ugly and internalize the pain, but forget to dwell on the positive?

During this same time, I also had some great experiences. My oldest grandson graduated from high school. Time spent with family at a nearby ranch was so amazing and a sweet break from the gloom. I had teaching friends that gathered around me and uplifted while I felt wounded and worthless. Students and their families blessed me with sweet words and gifts, and their kindness reminded me of the joys of teaching. Even my pups sensed something was wrong with their human mama and stayed extra close.

So why did I allow one misguided and angry individual cloud my judgment? Finally, it dawned on me, and as a writer, I should know this by now. Words hold power. They can destroy or uplift, condemn, or encourage. Words can bring joy and laughter or create doubt and discomfort. The teacher was reminded that first, carefully choose your words, and second, thoughtfully select the words that you will allow to feed your spirit.

Photo by Mohammad Metri on Unsplash

9 thoughts on “Words

  1. Words. This too shall pass? To thine own self be true. Words are my power and my ??? What is the word that I want? Words are my story and my treasure to spend on my thoughts. Peace.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is one of those times that I want a different option than “Like”. It simply does not fit and if words could comfort you, I’d be typing them now instead of these.

    Your story here is not the first I’ve heard, but it did inspire me to try and capture a thought that came to me while trying to comfort another friend who found herself in a similar state of mind, with no real recourse to get to a happier place. I ended up offering her a more adult and less comprehensive version of this fictional story. The more I’ve thought about it, there is some strength available that I think we often neglect at such times.

    Please give my new fictional essay a read and tell me if I’ve landed any where near reality.
    https://garyawilsonstories.wordpress.com/disqualified-abuse/
    is the link that will take you there.

    Know you are loved, valued and priceless in the eyes of the one with the most important opinion of you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. thank you…i do know that…I know I dwell on the sensitive side of life, so when friends or family…people that I trust and admire wreak havoc, it rocks my world…literally….sigh…it’s funny my sensitivity can also be my strength when I battle for the under dog. But on another note, my sassy side has returned…I needed the break…and in the end…I did give him my two cents…lol…poor guy.

      Like

  3. Words do have power, and, unfortunately, many people do know how to wield them properly. I am sorry that you were hurt so deeply, but I am glad that time is healing your heart. Blessings to you, Ann Marie.

    Like

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