Month: January 2024

Daily writing prompt

What could you do differently?

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“Sometimes it takes a heartbreak to shake us awake & help us see we are worth so much more than we’re settling for.”

― Mandy Hale, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass

If I could have peered into the future, I would have changed a few circumstances in my life. First of all, after my high school graduation, I would have remained in California and lived with my grandmother. We missed each other so much. Colorado could have waited. My grandmother, my rock, the one person who always believed in me, died four years after I graduated from high school. More than anything, I have wished to turn back the years and spend that time with my grandmother.

During that time with my Grandma, I could have also attended the nearby community college and begun working on my teaching degree. Without a doubt, I would have been better prepared for my future. 

After graduation, I was a mess, and I literally ran away from home to escape the chaos of my parent’s divorce. I felt I was in a constant tug of war as my parents raged with one another. So when my uncle asked me to go to Colorado that summer, I jumped at the chance. A few weeks before his offer, I had moved in with my grandmother, so I had planned on visiting for a few weeks and then returning. Still, that summer soothed my heartache, and I felt as if could breathe once more. Although I missed my younger brothers and of course my grandmother, it felt wonderful to be away from the drama and all the pain. 

So, two weeks of vacation turned into a lifetime. I stayed in Colorado and did not return to California until my grandmother died. I did get to see her before her death, for she made a few trips to Colorado to visit, and she attended my wedding. But it was not the same. I missed our quiet afternoons, playing Chinese Checkers, laughing, talking. I have longed for a do-over with more time spent with the woman I adored.

A few years after she died, my marriage began to crumble, but I hung in there for fifteen years. It felt as though I were kicking a dead horse. I wanted my daughter to have both parents, but in reality, I believe I made things harder by trying to save my marriage. My ex and I were young and dumb when we married, and we really had so little in common, besides our love for the outdoors. For a time, we enjoyed our Colorado playground, but in our everyday lives, our different ideas played havoc, and our dreams and hopes for the future often collided in too many unhappy moments. 

Eventually, he had an affair and that was the reality check I needed to finally separate myself from such a gloomy situation. Before our separation, I started college; he hated the idea although that had always been the plan. When our daughter was older, I would go to school. But he wanted me to be a stay-at-home wife and mother; he suggested that I felt he could not support our family. He could not understand my need and desire to teach. With every turn, he tried to sabotage my education, trying to force me to quit. Those actions only reinforced my resolve. This stubborn lass made a promise to herself; I would get my degree.

When I discovered his affair, I was shocked and heartbroken. While we had our problems, I still loved him. Still, in time, I realized his affair had set me free. We were simply not right for one another. A few months after his indiscretion came to light, I transferred to a university to finish my degree, and my life changed in wonderful ways. For the first time in years, I felt a new sense of joy. I discovered my voice and found my path. I met people who encouraged me, and my confidence returned. 

Over the years, I have understood that sometimes, those pain-filled moments do open new doors and offer a better life path. And I know if my grandmother were still alive, my biggest cheerleader would be proud of the woman that I’ve become.

Daily writing prompt

What colleges have you attended?

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“A teacher’s job is to take a bunch of live wires and see that they are well-grounded.” –Darwin D. Martin

In my home state of Colorado, I have attended three colleges as I pursued my educational goals to become a teacher. In addition, I have taken so many additional courses during my career to keep up my teaching license. But most, I have enjoyed. I really do love learning! 

At the age of thirty-three, I decided to follow my dream of becoming a teacher. I attended a community college that was housed in a former prep school for boys. My classes looked out over green pastures with mountain views. Having the local “residents” peer into our classrooms was not unusual. This former city girl enjoyed the locals who called the grassy field home, and I sometimes found it hard to concentrate on lectures, especially when I spotted a sweet-faced calf in the mix.

After receiving my degree, I transferred to a nearby university. It was an amazing journey, and I felt at home while working on my English degree. I met some incredible people and found my voice as I started my writing journey so long ago. It was one of the best decisions I made. 

After teaching for the Department of Corrections for five years, I decided to find my way back to public schools and found a job as a sixth-grade language arts teacher. One year later, I enrolled in my graduate courses and received my master’s in culturally and linguistically diverse. The year I enrolled in my program, I discovered we had many students from other nations. We had students who spoke Russian, Chinese, Korean, Spanish, and a few Polish speakers too. The courses designed to help English language learners actually helped all of my students.

Now, as I move closer to retirement, I can honestly say that while teaching has been the most difficult job I have had, it has also been rewarding. I would do it all again.

“A teacher’s job is to take a bunch of live wires and see that they are well-grounded.” –Darwin D. Martin