Category: Living

The Muttley Crew Chronicles

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Fall News Break with Max and Mitzi

Breaking News:
Fall has been spotted in the neighborhood.

Witnesses report cooler mornings, crunchy leaves, mysterious breezes, and a sudden increase in Mom saying, “Isn’t this weather wonderful?”

Max and Mitzi arrived on the scene wearing serious expressions and hopeful snack faces.

Max confirmed that the air smells better in fall, especially when leaves, fireplaces, and possible treats are involved.

Mitzi added that blanket season has officially begun, and all soft blankets are now considered dachshund property.

The Muttley Crew would also like to announce that fall walks are superior to summer walks because no one melts, pants dramatically, or tries to hide in the shade after seven steps.

Current forecast: crisp air, cozy naps, pumpkin decorations, and a 100% chance of Mom being happier.

More updates will be provided as soon as someone opens the treat jar or says the word “walk.”

Conversations with Teddy

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The Muttley Crew Chronicles

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Muttley Crew Travel Reviews
Road trip opinions from Max and Mitzi

Today’s Review: Mom’s Car
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The ride was excellent.

Windows were open. Smells were plentiful. We detected cows, grass, snacks, strangers, and at least one suspicious breeze.

Mom packed blankets, water, and our travel bag, which shows some improvement in human planning.

However, we must address one concern: Mom sang too much.

At first, we were supportive. Then she hit the chorus. Max stared out the window for emotional distance. Mitzi pretended to nap.

The scenery was lovely, the sniffs were first-rate, and the snack service was acceptable, though we believe treats should be offered at every stoplight.

Final rating: Four paws.
Would travel again, preferably with more snacks and less singing.

Sincerely,
Max and Mitzi
Small dogs. Big feelings. Strong opinions.

Conversations with Teddy

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The Muttley Crew Chronicles

Published on by Ann Marie Bryant2 Comments

Complaint:
The bowl was empty for nearly seven minutes. Emotional damages are obvious.

At approximately 4:42 p.m., the plaintiffs approached the food bowl and discovered a shocking lack of dinner.

Max immediately alerted the household by standing beside the bowl and staring at Mom with deep disappointment.

Mitzi joined the case by pacing dramatically and checking the bowl from several angles, just in case food had appeared while no one was looking.

Finally, Mitzi moved into action, flipping the bowl over to grab Mom’s attention.

The defense claims dinner was not technically late.

The plaintiffs disagree.

Seven minutes in dachshund time is equal to three years, two winters, and one abandoned hope.

Requested Settlement:
Immediate dinner, one apology treat, and a written promise that this injustice will never happen again.

Final Ruling:
The court finds in favor of Max and Mitzi.

Sentence: Mom must fill the bowl and provide compensation in the form of snacks.

Court is adjourned.

The Muttley Crew Chronicles

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Max and Mitzi’s Rules for Life
Tiny dog wisdom from the Muttley Crew

Rule #1: If Mom stands up, follow her. She may be going to the kitchen.

Rule #2: If Mom says, “I’ll be right back,” do not believe her. Escort her personally.

Rule #3: If a blanket exists, burrow under it. If Mom is using it, burrow harder.

Rule #4: If someone opens the refrigerator, report to duty immediately.

Rule #5: A treat broken in half is still one treat. We cannot stress this enough.

Rule #6: If Mom is trying to work, sit on her lap. She clearly needs supervision.

Rule #7: Bark first. Ask questions never.

Rule #8: If you hear a crinkle, assume it is snacks until proven otherwise.

Rule #9: The best seat in the house is wherever Mom was about to sit.

Rule #10: When life gets hard, find a blanket, demand cheese, and look tragically underfed.

Sincerely,
Max and Mitzi
Small dogs. Big feelings. Strong opinions.

Conversations with Teddy

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The Muttley Crew Chronicles

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Things My Dogs Would Put on Yelp
Review by Max and Mitzi

The Vet’s Office
⭐️

Suspicious smells. Cold table. No snacks waiting at the door.

We entered with hope in our hearts and left with questions.

The staff was friendly, and one very nice lady did call Max handsome, so we are willing to add half a star in our hearts, but not on the official review.

Mitzi did enjoy the cuddles and personal attention. She found the soft voices comforting and appreciated being treated like the delicate queen she is.

However, we would like the record to show that we absolutely did not like the vaccines. Not even a little. We were brave, of course, but we would have preferred cheese, applause, and a formal written apology.

Max would also like it noted that certain procedures were highly unnecessary and deeply personal; he specifically did not like having his temperature taken.

Our biggest complaint: everyone kept saying, “You’re doing so good,” but no one followed that statement with a cheeseburger.

Final rating: One star. Would not recommend, unless you enjoy being weighed, inspected, complimented, vaccinated, and betrayed in the same building.

Sincerely,
Max and Mitzi
Small dogs. Big feelings. Strong opinions.

My Favorite Apps

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My five favorite apps on my phone are Photos, Audiobook, Libby, Google, and Maps. I love Photos because it keeps my favorite pictures of my family, pups, mountain adventures, and everyday moments close at hand. Audiobook and Libby allow me to enjoy books wherever I go, while driving, relaxing, or winding down at the end of the day. Google is my go-to app when I want to find information quickly, and Maps helps me navigate when I am traveling, exploring mountain roads, or visiting someplace new.

Conversations with Teddy

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