As I live my life, my mission is to enjoy the laughter of grandchildren; give ear to the conversations with my girls; encounter new friends and kindred souls; discover magical hamlets and hideouts along dusty back roads, and above all, I want to quietly listen to the One that holds my heart in His Hands.
Wishes
“Sometimes it takes a heartbreak to shake us awake & help us see we are worth so much more than we’re settling for.”
― Mandy Hale, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass
If I could have peered into the future, I would have changed a few circumstances in my life. First of all, after my high school graduation, I would have remained in California and lived with my grandmother. We missed each other so much. Colorado could have waited. My grandmother, my rock, the one person who always believed in me, died four years after I graduated from high school. More than anything, I have wished to turn back the years and spend that time with my grandmother.
During that time with my Grandma, I could have also attended the nearby community college and begun working on my teaching degree. Without a doubt, I would have been better prepared for my future.
After graduation, I was a mess, and I literally ran away from home to escape the chaos of my parent’s divorce. I felt I was in a constant tug of war as my parents raged with one another. So when my uncle asked me to go to Colorado that summer, I jumped at the chance. A few weeks before his offer, I had moved in with my grandmother, so I had planned on visiting for a few weeks and then returning. Still, that summer soothed my heartache, and I felt as if could breathe once more. Although I missed my younger brothers and of course my grandmother, it felt wonderful to be away from the drama and all the pain.
So, two weeks of vacation turned into a lifetime. I stayed in Colorado and did not return to California until my grandmother died. I did get to see her before her death, for she made a few trips to Colorado to visit, and she attended my wedding. But it was not the same. I missed our quiet afternoons, playing Chinese Checkers, laughing, talking. I have longed for a do-over with more time spent with the woman I adored.
A few years after she died, my marriage began to crumble, but I hung in there for fifteen years. It felt as though I were kicking a dead horse. I wanted my daughter to have both parents, but in reality, I believe I made things harder by trying to save my marriage. My ex and I were young and dumb when we married, and we really had so little in common, besides our love for the outdoors. For a time, we enjoyed our Colorado playground, but in our everyday lives, our different ideas played havoc, and our dreams and hopes for the future often collided in too many unhappy moments.
Eventually, he had an affair and that was the reality check I needed to finally separate myself from such a gloomy situation. Before our separation, I started college; he hated the idea although that had always been the plan. When our daughter was older, I would go to school. But he wanted me to be a stay-at-home wife and mother; he suggested that I felt he could not support our family. He could not understand my need and desire to teach. With every turn, he tried to sabotage my education, trying to force me to quit. Those actions only reinforced my resolve. This stubborn lass made a promise to herself; I would get my degree.
When I discovered his affair, I was shocked and heartbroken. While we had our problems, I still loved him. Still, in time, I realized his affair had set me free. We were simply not right for one another. A few months after his indiscretion came to light, I transferred to a university to finish my degree, and my life changed in wonderful ways. For the first time in years, I felt a new sense of joy. I discovered my voice and found my path. I met people who encouraged me, and my confidence returned.
Over the years, I have understood that sometimes, those pain-filled moments do open new doors and offer a better life path. And I know if my grandmother were still alive, my biggest cheerleader would be proud of the woman that I’ve become.
Presently
Dare I say both? As I ponder about the past and my future, I seem to keep my feet planted somewhere in the middle. My thoughts play a gentle tug of war between yesterday and tomorrow.
As a storyteller and the keeper of family tales and adventures, I dig deep into the past. As I research, I lose myself in my ancestors’ stories. When their lives unfold, I marvel at their strength and persistence. This family line knows courage, overcoming obstacles that most could not even comprehend. The men and women in this family traveled to the New World and cleared a path in the wilderness. While many historical narratives often begin and end with men, I found remarkable women who blazoned their own trails and left a legacy of bold courage and undeniable tenacity. My grandmothers, my aunts, and my damsel cousins marched to their own beat. These spirited women unleashed the bounds that kept them tethered to a world where women lost their voices and freedoms. Often, I chuckle, as I discover their grit and their spunk. But it shouldn’t really surprise me, for, after all, the current female members carry that same DNA mettle. The women in this family lead with courage, compassion, and strength, and I am proud of my heritage.
As for tomorrow, I ponder all the new opportunities that await. As retirement closely looms, I wonder about my future. Will I ever finish my novel? Will I sub or teach humanities or creative writing at the community college? Will I explore the wonders of my home state? All those places I keep meaning “to get to one day.” I must admit it is exciting to know that some of the best days of my life are quietly waiting to unfold.
Well, for now, today’s demands harken. The laundry needs my attention and the bills need to be paid. And best of all the pups need some attention.
Photo by Dawid Zawiła on Unsplash
The Greatest Gift
“Can we just skip to the part of my life where I travel the world?” – Unknown
The greatest gift for me would be to travel the world. I want to visit astounding landmarks and experience diverse cultures. I want to see it all.
However, I’m still a realist and will “settle” for a cabin among Ponderosa Pines in a mountain hamlet in Colorado….a little slice of heaven on earth.
Photo by Alexander McFeron on Unsplash

A Lifetime of Learning
“A teacher’s job is to take a bunch of live wires and see that they are well-grounded.” –Darwin D. Martin
In my home state of Colorado, I have attended three colleges as I pursued my educational goals to become a teacher. In addition, I have taken so many additional courses during my career to keep up my teaching license. But most, I have enjoyed. I really do love learning!
At the age of thirty-three, I decided to follow my dream of becoming a teacher. I attended a community college that was housed in a former prep school for boys. My classes looked out over green pastures with mountain views. Having the local “residents” peer into our classrooms was not unusual. This former city girl enjoyed the locals who called the grassy field home, and I sometimes found it hard to concentrate on lectures, especially when I spotted a sweet-faced calf in the mix.
After receiving my degree, I transferred to a nearby university. It was an amazing journey, and I felt at home while working on my English degree. I met some incredible people and found my voice as I started my writing journey so long ago. It was one of the best decisions I made.
After teaching for the Department of Corrections for five years, I decided to find my way back to public schools and found a job as a sixth-grade language arts teacher. One year later, I enrolled in my graduate courses and received my master’s in culturally and linguistically diverse. The year I enrolled in my program, I discovered we had many students from other nations. We had students who spoke Russian, Chinese, Korean, Spanish, and a few Polish speakers too. The courses designed to help English language learners actually helped all of my students.
Now, as I move closer to retirement, I can honestly say that while teaching has been the most difficult job I have had, it has also been rewarding. I would do it all again.
“A teacher’s job is to take a bunch of live wires and see that they are well-grounded.” –Darwin D. Martin
My Muttley Crew
Any time spent with my pups is playtime. No matter how exhausted or stressed, my Muttley Crew never fails to make me smile. I enjoy their silly antics and how they love to cuddle. Each has such a huge personality for one so tiny. And this lively pair has wiggled their way into my heart. I can’t imagine life without my tiny posse.
Reprieve
Lately, my biggest challenge has been mobility. I live with chronic pain after an accident. Not a day goes by that I don’t experience pain. This winter has been harsh, for the cold weather blasted me with an extra dose of discomfort. But even worse than the pain has been the isolation; it has been difficult to visit with family and friends, and after a long day at work, I am wiped out. The constant affliction wears me out.
So what do I do? I keep moving. Exercise helps, especially the warm therapy pool at the Y. I’ve started chair yoga; I love the stretches. On warm days, I enjoy sitting on the patio watching my pups play while I relax or listen to audiobooks. The sunshine and fresh air help, too. And I remind myself, often, that slowing down to take of myself is okay.
Photo by Annette Batista Day on Unsplash
But First Coffee
- coffee
- vanilla chai tea
- coconut yogurt
- granola
- sugar-free vanilla syrup
The Mountains Are Calling
Driving toward our “Happy Place,” my two dachshunds yapped with excitement from the backseat. Max kept “talking,” letting out those dramatic shrieks of delight he’d made since puppyhood whenever he realized we were headed somewhere special—just like when he was little and knew we were going for a walk along the horse trails. Mitzi scooted to the back window of the HHR—also known as Honey’s Hot Ride—searching for the best view. From her perch, she stared intently at the rolling countryside rushing past us.
Maybe they were feeding off my energy, because I was just as excited.
It had been over a year since our last visit to my favorite little cabin in Beulah, tucked into the pines of southeastern Colorado. I needed mountain time. Autumn had begun to paint the hillsides, and I couldn’t wait to see the aspens glowing in their golden fall colors.
The drive from my home on the Colorado prairie to the mountains is short, but it always feels like entering another world. As we left the house and headed toward town, traffic slowed us down as the after-work crowd made their way home.
When I booked the cabin, I’d planned to leave school, grab the pups and our gear, and make a run for the mountains the minute the last bell rang. But sometimes life rearranges our plans.
The weekend before our getaway, I caught a nasty bug. It was finals week at school, which meant extra grading, late hours, and students with last-minute questions. I pushed through it all, determined to have my grades posted before our trip.
By Wednesday evening, it was clear the cold had turned into a full-blown sinus infection. My throat burned, my head pounded, and I was running a fever.
I remember thinking, How in the world am I supposed to run away for the weekend like this?
Canceling wasn’t really an option. My reservation began the next evening, and it was too late to change it. So I FaceTimed the virtual doctor, who prescribed antibiotics and an inhaler and sent them to my local pharmacy. Unfortunately, the pharmacy had already closed for the night.
Grabbing my phone, I dialed the school’s sub-finder and silently prayed someone would pick up the job. After messaging my principal and finishing my plans, I crawled into bed.
Max and Mitzi immediately burrowed under the blankets, taking their duties as tiny bed warmers very seriously. Soon, I was fast asleep.
The next morning, I woke before my alarm. After tweaking my lesson plans to make them sub-friendly, I pulled on a faded pair of jeans and a soft lavender T-shirt.
When I stepped into the living room, Mitzi was waiting in her usual spot, perched like a princess on the overstuffed armchair. She always wanted one last cuddle before I left the house.
“Good morning, Stinkerbelle,” I whispered, scratching behind her ears.
A few minutes later, I grabbed my keys and headed to school to make final preparations for the substitute.
When my coworkers saw me, they immediately scolded me.
“What are you doing here?” one asked. “You look awful! Go home and rest.”
They were right. After finishing what I needed to do, I drove home and wondered whether the trip had been a mistake. My original plan had been to visit one of the mountain parks for a picnic and a short walk, but hiking was definitely out of the question.
Still, I reminded myself, I didn’t need to hike. I could sit on the porch with caramel pumpkin spice coffee, breathe the mountain air, and watch my Muttley Crew explore the pine forest.
Once home, I packed the car and waited for the pharmacy’s text saying my prescriptions were ready. While I waited, I curled up in bed and took a long nap.
Later that afternoon, after picking up my medicine, we finally headed toward the mountains. Even though I felt miserable, I couldn’t wait to arrive. And it turned out to be exactly the medicine I needed.
The mornings were frosty and quiet. I would wrap myself in a quilt, sip vanilla chai tea, and sit by the fire while listening to audiobooks or writing in my journal. Max and Mitzi took turns curling up beside me like small furry heating pads.
Through the big front window, I watched the sun slowly rise through the tall ponderosa pines. The aspens shimmered in brilliant shades of yellow and gold.
I remember sighing out loud one morning.
“Now this,” I said softly, “is exactly what I needed.”
One morning, before we even climbed out of bed, something magical happened.
Soft movement outside the French doors caught the pups’ attention. Max’s ears perked. Mitzi lifted her head from the pillow.
Several curious deer stood just outside the glass, their dark eyes peering quietly into the bedroom. For a moment, we all simply stared at one another.
Then Max erupted into barking. Mitzi joined in immediately; her tiny voice full of fierce determination.
The deer sprang back in surprise and bounded away into the trees.
Max puffed out his chest like he had personally defended the cabin from intruders. Mitzi looked very pleased with herself. I couldn’t help laughing. “Good job, pups,” I told them.
In the afternoons, when the sun warmed the air, we spent our time outside in the yard. I stretched out in the sunshine listening to my audiobook; this fall, I had been enjoying Alice Hoffman’s Practical Magic series, while the pups explored the forest around the cabin.
Max’s hunting instincts were in full swing. He spent hours staring at one particular spot beneath the cabin, convinced some mysterious creature had taken up residence in the crawlspace. From the scratching we’d heard earlier drifting up through the floorboards, my little detective might have been onto something.
Mitzi wandered more slowly, stopping to sniff every pinecone and leaf she encountered. But she never strayed far. She was a mama’s girl who liked to keep me within sight.
Every evening about an hour before sunset, we gathered on the front porch.
The pups scampered across the yard, while I watched the fading light beam through the ponderosa pines. Across the road, a grassy field shimmered beneath a grove of aspens, their leaves trembling like golden coins in the breeze.
Beyond the field, the Wet Mountains rose quietly against the sky.
As the sun dipped lower, the peaks turned soft shades of amber and lavender. Pine shadows stretched across the hillsides, and the ridgelines faded into hazy blue silhouettes.
It was breathtaking.
Wild turkeys often wandered into the field at dusk, pecking through the grass for seeds and insects. Eventually their slow caravan marched up the driveway and across the yard, clucking softly as they searched for a few last morsels before disappearing behind the cabin to roost for the night.
Max would whine in frustration, desperate to chase them. Mitzi stood guard beside me, barking, her tiny warnings.
Those quiet evening rituals quickly became my favorite part of the day.
The mountains have a way of healing things that medicine cannot. Even though I spent much of the weekend sniffling and moving slowly, the peace of the forest, the warmth of the fire, and the steady companionship of my little dogs worked their quiet magic.
By the time Sunday arrived, I felt rested in a way that had nothing to do with sleep.
Now the kettle is warming again, and I will sip another cup of chai tea and rest beside the fire. Outside, the pines sway gently in the mountain breeze. Soon, the pups and I will head back out to our backyard paradise.
And as the fire crackled and the pines swayed outside the cabin, I realized that sometimes healing comes wrapped in mountain air, golden aspens, and two little dogs who never leave your side.












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