Born on the Fourth of July

The end of June 1961 came without so much as one labor pain, and the expectant mother sighed, anxious to meet the stubborn child who refused to make her entrance.

In a small Seattle apartment, my mother sat at a kitchen table. The due date had come and gone. Glancing out the open window, she felt the morning breeze graze her face; it carried the damp, earthy scent of the Pacific Northwest, part rain, part salty sea breeze, and part conifers. Resting her hands on her growing belly, she listened as her mother and her husband carried on a lively conversation about the upcoming birth.

“The baby’s comfortable,” my father teased, glancing at the calendar on the wall. “Maybe the little one is waiting for July 8th. A good day to be born.”

My father was not shy about staking his claim; he decided the baby should be born on his birthday as if I were a pre-ordered gift he had personally ordered and was simply waiting to unwrap.

My grandma, on the other hand, was not to be outdone and decided her birthday would be the perfect day for her grandchild to make an entrance. Sitting next to my mother, she smiled, lifted an eyebrow, and declared, “Oh no. If that baby is born in July, it should be born on July 10th. Everybody knows that’s the best birthday in the family.”

And without warning, my arrival became a family feud in the making as my grandmother and my dad turned it into a lighthearted debate.

My Momma shook her head as her mother and husband laughed and continued their playful banter.

My poor mother, hot, tired, long overdue, and carrying the human prize in this birthday tug of war, pushed herself up from the kitchen table. The exhausted mother-to-be simply told the pair, “If you two are going to argue about it, I will just have my baby on the Fourth of July.” Her delivery was firm and matter-of-fact.

They laughed.

But four days later, that is exactly what she did. Her prediction would become a family legend, repeated for years as the family sat around kitchen tables. But at that moment, it was the exasperated promise of a woman who was tired of being pregnant.

On a busy afternoon, I was born on July 4, 1961, at Fort Lewis’s Madigan General Hospital, bustling with holiday babies. More than twenty babies were born that day, my mother said, as if even the maternity ward had surrendered to the patriotic spirit of the date.

“Must have been a cold October or the men were heading downrange,” one nurse muttered with a knowing smile. 

Honestly, the nurse was probably not wrong.

Outside the post would have been alive with Independence Day celebrations. Flags would have lifted in the breeze. Firecrackers would have snapped in the distance, and a marching band may have been warming up for a parade. Inside the hospital, the mood would have been quieter, with mothers cradling their babies as they celebrated the arrival of their precious cargo.

Inside the maternity ward, the army hospital still ran with military precision: polished floors, the smell of antiseptic, nurses moving briskly through the halls, and starched sheets tucked with perfectly squared corners.

My mother liked to tell the tale with a combination of pride and wonderment.

“You cost $7.50,” she liked to say.

As a child, I was offended and thought it was outrageous. “That’s all I was worth?”

She would laugh and correct me. “That was for my meals. I had to pay for my food.”

I guess I came cheap,  but lunch was extra.

Afterward came the detail that fascinated me most. “Every morning,” she lowered her voice as if she were whispering something scandalous, “I had to make my own bed.”

“In the hospital?” I asked.

“In the hospital,” she stated. “Army corners and all,” she said. “And then the women had to stand next to their beds as the head nurse came through to see if it passed inspection.”

That was one detail that remained with me as vividly as if I had witnessed it myself.  My mother, exhausted and sore after delivering her first child, was pulling stiff white sheets across a hospital bed and tucking each corner with care. The Army life did not loosen its grip for labor pains or newborn cries. Even motherhood in that world came with precise rules. Discipline lived alongside tenderness; duty held at the bedside.

I was an Army brat from the beginning, and my father’s service affected the family as a whole. I was born into that rhythm. Born on Independence Day, surrounded by uniforms and regulation corners.

At family gatherings, Dad would chuckle and say, “Well, she almost had the good sense to be born on her dad’s birthday.”

And Grandma would counter, “Or her grandmothers.”

And my Momma would simply say, “She chose her own day.”

And maybe I did claim my own day; I kept them waiting, ignored the family vote, except my mama’s, of course, and showed up when I was good and ready.

Outside, fireworks split the darkened sky with flashes of gold and red, their brilliance blooming and fading against the darkness. And somewhere between the sizzle of sparklers in little hands, I realized the Fourth of July suited this independent and stubborn gal, and I’ve been doing things on my own ever since that day.

Freckles, Fire, and Friendship

One fall afternoon, I walked through the halls of Chipman Middle School in Alameda, California, still adjusting to the strange new world of junior high. I liked the freedom of changing classes, but there were moments when those crowded hallways made me feel small. I was still trying to find my place in this new chapter of my life.

One September afternoon, I thought it would be just another typical day until a new student marched into our room and took our class by surprise. I didn’t know then, but I was about to meet my lifelong buddy.

After lunch, we went to Mrs. Westmoreland’s class; she taught sixth-grade language arts. While we were settling in, I sat in my assigned spot, second desk from the front. The room smelled like sharpened pencils, old books, and the faint dust from the chalkboard. Outside the classroom door, the hallway still carried the noise from our lunch break, but inside, everything paused when a new girl walked into our classroom.

Everyone instantly became quiet. She had long brunette hair that had red highlights, and it was curly. She also had quite a few freckles that I would later find out she absolutely hated. She was also short and petite, but that didn’t stop her from standing up for herself. I would soon discover that this half pint was quite feisty, a human tornado that could create devastation at a moment’s notice.

As Mrs. Westmoreland walked up to her, she took the paperwork from the girl’s outstretched hand. “Take a seat,” The teacher motioned towards the empty desk that was right next to mine.  

Barb’s eyes met mine, and we both smiled at each other before she took her seat.  As she started to settle in, I noticed that she had the biggest pencil ever! It was thicker than a normal pencil, and longer, too. I remember thinking that it must be awkward to use, but in middle school, we enjoyed quirky school supplies, and that pencil definitely fit the bill.

After lunch, our teacher usually had us read for a few minutes. This was my favorite activity of the day. The class was silently reading when Mrs. Westmoreland explained that she would be “right back.”

Of course, as soon as she left, the quiet class became quite rowdy as everyone began talking at once. Before I could talk to the new girl, the class bully, Donald, started teasing her. 

“Hey, Freckles,” he called. 

I glanced at Barb. She sat up straighter in her chair and tried to ignore the disgusting boy. But he wouldn’t stop.

He grinned and hollered, “Hey Freckles! Do you think you have enough…freckles?” He laughed, and a few of the other boys joined in, following his taunting like it was some kind of invitation.

At that moment, Barb jumped from her seat. We could tell by the look on her face that she was furious. She glared at Donald and screeched, “I hate you!” She grasped her huge pencil in her hand, and I watched in wondrous horror as she broke it over dumb Donald’s head.

Time slowed to a crawl, and my heart raced. More than once, I had been on the receiving end of Donald’s threats and torment, and I worried about retaliation. 

But instead, the class terror looked stunned as if he could not believe what had just taken place. And I smiled, acknowledging that finally someone had stood up to the biggest bully in the sixth-grade class.

Everyone was utterly quiet for a single moment until my classmates started shouting, laughing, and talking all at once! Donald just took a beat down from a girl half his size! Everyone was astonished.

Of course, Mrs. Westmoreland walked into class as Barb stood in front of the class, clearly upset. Donald was red-faced and rubbed the knot on his dumb noggin.   Quickly, we settled down and pretended to read once again, but all twenty-some pairs of eyes focused on the unfolding scene at the front of the classroom.

Barb slowly walked to her desk and quietly took her seat. Still nursing his head and his wounded pride, Donald sat grimly and tight-lipped. He was probably trying to hatch some type of revenge on how to get even with the girl who just schooled him about making fun of others.

Mrs. Westmoreland knew something was up in her classroom, but she did not say a word. Although our teacher kept a sharp lookout, no one said a word about ole Donny’s suddenly diminished reputation. Too many of us had been on the receiving end of his bullying, and secretly, we were all rooting for the new girl.

Barb looked at me, and I smiled, for I knew I had just met someone extra special! This tiny tornado taught the whole class a lesson that day. Dim-witted Donald D. wasn’t quite as scary as we had thought. And his days as the school villain had just gone down in flames.

In an instant, my own fears dissolved; I finally saw Donald for who he really was, just a kid with a big mouth and zero gumption.

From that day on, Barb and I were pretty much inseparable. We spent our childhood years growing together and creating a friendship that has lasted a lifetime. 

Over the years, Barb became more than the girl who sat beside me in language arts. She became the friend who could make me laugh when I wanted to cry, tell me the truth when I needed to hear it, and remind me that courage sometimes comes in the smallest, sassiest packages.

Oh, and the best part? That feisty friend of mine has not changed one bit. She is still spirited, sassy, loyal, and full of fire. And after more than fifty years of friendship, I can honestly say I am grateful some things never change.

When Souls Recognize Each Other

Do you believe in soul mates? I used to think they only belonged in love stories, tucked between long walks on the beach and watching shooting stars in a favorite mountain getaway. But the older I get, the more I wonder if soul mates don’t just have to be about romance. Maybe they are the people who understand the quiet parts of us, the ones who arrive when we need them the most, the ones who feel familiar before we even know their story.

I once met someone I had an instant connection with from the first time we visited when I was eighteen. It felt as if we had known each other all our lives. We shared so much in common, finishing each other’s sentences and spending endless hours together. Never since that time have I ever felt that kind of love for a man. 

Still, we were so young, and he moved so quickly, I stepped back from our relationship; a decision I still regret to this day.

Was he my soul mate? I guess I will never truly know. Or did he enter my life at the wrong time?  I guess I will never really know that either. Will I ever have another male companion whom I will consider to be my soulmate? Probably not, but in my later years, I am honestly okay with that knowledge.

But that still brings me back to the question: do I have soul mates in my life?

Yes, I honestly believe I do. 

Some of my closest friends fill that role.  I have childhood friends who are like sisters to me, and we’ve been friends for over fifty years. They are definitely soulmates.  I have met others whose connections felt almost spine-tingling because we had so much in common. We even admitted that we were destined to become friends.  Yep, soul mates there too.

I also have several friends who feel like family, sisters, and daughters. They are people whom I can’t imagine not being in my life.

And then there was my grandmother, a definite kindred spirit and soul mate. What joy she brought into my life. She was a mentor, best friend, and the perfect grandma. 

And what about pets? I have had dogs and cats, even horses and cows, that made my life extra special. They bonded with me, loved me, and made life a joyous occasion.

So maybe, just maybe, soul mates are not always the people we marry. Maybe they are the people and even the critters who walk into our lives and leave a soft light on inside of us.

So do I believe in soul mates?

Yes, yes, I do. 

I believe in them because some connections feel too powerful to be accidental. I do not know whether we have only one romantic soulmate in our lifetime, but I do know there are people whose souls recognize ours.  They arrive like a familiar song, create a feeling of peace, and leave us changed forever. 

Maybe soulmates are not only found once in a lifetime; maybe they are a beautiful reminder that love has been finding us all along

So now I will ask you, do you believe in soul mates? Are they romantic partners, lifelong friends, family members, or even the four-legged companions who somehow know exactly when we need them? I would love to hear your thoughts. Maybe we all have a soul mate story tucked somewhere in our hearts.