A Series of Unfortunate Events

That little runt peed on my shoe! 

I had a Monday; granted I know it’s a Tuesday, but everything that could go wrong did just that.

My morning started with severe back pain. Over the weekend, I tweaked it because I tried to complete one too many tasks before I started a new school year.  Still, this teacher had work to finish in her room, and the hot water from my morning shower, I believed, would help ease some of the pain. Before I hopped into the shower, I tried my new coffee maker. I definitely needed my cup of Joe this morning.

After the shower, I couldn’t wait to drink my morning brew. As I walked into the kitchen, I found the water had flowed from underneath the coffee maker and had entirely missed the coffee pot. The water ran along my countertop and slipped onto the floor. Disappointed and frazzled, I cleaned up the water while reminding myself that it could have been worse; at least it had missed the coffee grounds.

Rushing through my morning routine, I dried and styled my hair. When I misted on some hairspray, it came out sticky and gooey, and it looked like I had not showered for a week!  It was too late in the morning to rewash my hair, so I just combed out the glob, but it didn’t help. In fact, it just made it look worse. Taking a deep breath, I reminded myself that it was just a work day and to suck it up! After all, what else could go wrong?

Mitzi aka Stinkerbelle

Before I could leave, I had to give my mini dachshund, Mitzi, some medication. She would only sit still long enough for me to give her half of the dose, and then, she slipped from my grasp. My pup hated the liquid concoction, so my feisty little girl ran and hid in another room. Once I found my wayward pooch, I gave her the rest of her meds and finished dressing for work. Finally, after a crazy morning, I was ready to head out the door. When I went to put on my sandals, the right one was wet. That’s when I realized my little girl had decided to get even with me. Before she went into hiding, that little runt peed on my shoe! Honestly, I laughed at her newest trick, for she has always been one sassy and rebellious little canine.Ā  Still, after cleaning my sandal with a Clorox Wipe, I decided to grab another pair, and I raced out the door.

On the way to work, I still longed for my morning coffee, so I stopped by the local convenient store. Slowly I pulled into the parking lot and climbed out of my car. My cane clacked on the pavement, and the sound reminded me of how much I detested using that contraption on those days when my body betrayed me. Hobbling into the store, I poured my coffee and paid for my purchase. Satisfied, finally, my morning was looking up!

Once I arrived at school, I parked my car, and I grabbed my computer bag and my coffee. Slowly, I sauntered towards the building.  All I wanted to do was make my way to my room, and finally sip on my long awaited brew. Clomping along, I was holding my coffee when suddenly, the paper cup sprang a leak, and then another!  The seam of the cup slowly started coming unglued and me along with it. Before I knew it, my mug resembled a small boat that had been dashed against coastal rocks.  More leaks sprang everywhere before the seam finally fell away, and my long awaited brew gushed from my cup, creating a creamy river that flowed along the school parking lot. By now, I believed the universe had concocted some sinister plans to destroy my busy morning.  At this point, I knew better than to repeat my earlier question, for I was afraid of what might just happen next.

Gingerly, I made my way into the building, but once I stepped into the office, the assistant principal immediately knew I was in rough shape and told me to go home. When I balked, he promised me that if I didn’t leave, he would throw me in the back of his truck and send me packin’. My orders were to rest, relax, and watch Netflix. Well, I didn’t like taking the day off, and I hated to burn up a sick day, but today I decided to follow doctor’s…umm…boss’ orders!  Besides, I should have read the signs. Today I should have just stayed home. Today, I should have kept the blinds closed and carefully covered my head with my comforter.  Today, I finally decided that I needed to hide from the universe’s horrible plans and refrain from further upsetting the horrifying powers of darkness!  Today, I rested while I made amends with my furbaby.  It was expected.  After all, no one ever wanted wet, soggy shoes.

7 thoughts on “A Series of Unfortunate Events

  1. The laws of physics dictate that there is a set amount of chaos queued up for any day and someone has to receive each drop. It sounds like you gave something like 18 peole a great day by taking their chaos for them.
    Perhaps you should rename that pup “Chaos”. It sounds like it would suit her.


    1. Chaos would be a good one, among others that I can not print here…lol…and my pups have nicknames too….Houdini and Copperfield….keep me busy but I love em” Thanks for reading my tale of woe.


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