Tag: dog mom life

The Muttley Crew Chronicles

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The Treat Jar Investigation
An official Muttley Crew Report

After careful sniffing, staring, and one dramatic sigh, we have concluded that the treat jar is being unfairly withheld from the public.

Mom has been named a person of interest.

At approximately 9:03 this morning, Mom walked past the treat jar without opening it. This suspicious behavior was witnessed by both Max and Mitzi, who immediately launched an investigation.

Evidence collected includes:

The jar was clearly visible.
The lid was closed.
No treats were distributed.
Mom claimed, “You just had one.”
This statement could not be confirmed by independent dachshund sources.

Max performed a full inspection of the kitchen floor, while Mitzi conducted emotional surveillance from the couch. Both investigators agree that the situation is serious.

The Muttley Crew is now demanding answers, justice, and at least one small snack while the investigation continues.

Breaking news will resume as soon as Mom wanders within treat-jar distance.

The Muttley Crew Chronicles

Published on by Ann Marie Bryant2 Comments

Max and Mitzi’s Guide to Human Training
Written by Max and Mitzi, professional dachshunds and household supervisors

Training a human takes patience, persistence, and excellent timing. Humans are sweet creatures, but they are easily distracted by laundry, schoolwork, phones, and other unimportant things.

That is why we have developed a simple four-step training method.

Step One: Stare.
Do not blink. Do not look away. Make direct eye contact until the human begins to feel emotionally responsible.

Step Two: Tilt Head.
This is where the magic begins. One small head tilt can undo years of human decision-making.

Step Three: Look Tragically Underfed.
Even if breakfast was served seven minutes ago, act as though you have not eaten since the pioneer days.

Step Four: Receive Snack.
At this point, the human should give in. If not, repeat steps one through three, adding a small sigh for dramatic effect.

Training may take time, but do not lose hope. With enough patience, any human can be taught to open the treat jar, share the blanket, and understand that one treat broken in half is still only one treat.

Sincerely,
Max and Mitzi
Small dogs. Big feelings. Strong opinions.

Conversations with Teddy

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The Muttley Crew Chronicles

Published on by Ann Marie BryantLeave a comment

Dairy Queen Drive-Thru
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

We recently visited a fine dining establishment called Dairy Queen, where the humans speak into a mysterious box and then treats magically appear through a window.

Excellent service. Very promising smells. The line was a little long, but Max kept watch, Mitzi monitored the window, and Mom tried to pretend she was in charge.

The pup cups were small, but delicious. We would like to suggest a larger serving size, perhaps served in a cereal bowl or directly from the machine.

Our only complaint: Mom kept saying, “Ones’s enough,” which is not a phrase we recognize in dachshund culture.

Final rating: Five paws up. Would bark in the drive-thru again.

The Muttley Crew Chronicles

Published on by Ann Marie BryantLeave a comment

The Muttley Crew News Desk

Breaking News: One treat was broken in half today. Management claims this counts as two treats.

Max and Mitzi strongly disagree.

Representatives for the dachshund community have issued a formal complaint, stating that “half a treat is not a whole treat, no matter how confidently the human explains it.”

Negotiations are ongoing.

More at 6, unless someone opens the cheese drawer.

Conversations With Teddy #6

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Conversations With Teddy #5

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