Mom, the Panther, and the Great Tug-of-War
There comes a time in every dachshund’s life when difficult decisions must be made.
Do we nap on the blanket or under the blanket?
Do we bark at the wind or save our energy for the squirrel?
Do we accept one treat broken in half as two treats?
The answer to that last question is still no.
But recently, Max and Mitzi faced their greatest challenge yet; Mom went back to school.
At first, they tried to be supportive. Max watched her pack her school bag with the serious expression of a tiny security guard. Mitzi sat nearby, looking concerned and slightly betrayed.
Books went into the bag. Papers went into the bag. Pens, notebooks, snacks, and teacher things went into the bag.
The dogs noticed something missing. Them. This was unacceptable.
Max immediately called an emergency meeting of The Muttley Crew. Mitzi seconded the motion by sighing dramatically and placing one paw on Mom’s leg.
Their position was clear; Their mama belonged at home.
Home had blankets. Home had cuddles. Home had the treat jar. Home had two dachshunds who required constant supervision, emotional support, and occasional cheese.
But across the room stood the LPI Panther, wearing his green hoodie and making his own case.
“School needs her,” the Panther announced. “There are students to teach, books to read, lessons to plan, and minds to grow.”
Max narrowed his eyes. Mitzi tilted her head. Mom sighed. And that is how the great tug-of-war began.
On one side stood Max and Mitzi, pulling with all the strength of two tiny dogs who believed love was a full-time job.
“We want Mom home!” they declared.
On the other side stood the Panther, pulling toward the classroom.
“We need her at school!” he argued.
Mom stood in the middle, holding the rope with that familiar teacher look, the one that says, “I love all of you, but I also need coffee, silence, and maybe a nap.”
Max dug in his paws. Mitzi gave her best sad eyes.
The Panther reminded everyone that school had short stories to write, books to read, field trips to plan, and snack days, which immediately made Max and Mitzi reconsider their position.
This gave the Muttley Crew pause.
Snack days?
Max requested clarification.
Mitzi asked whether dachshunds were allowed to attend.
Mom rolled her eyes and said, “Oh boy.”
In the end, no official winner was declared. The Panther kept Mom during the school day, and Max and Mitzi reclaimed her the moment she walked through the door.
The final agreement was simple:
School gets her mind. Students get her lessons. The Panther gets her teacher energy. But Max and Mitzi get her heart, her lap, her blanket, and first rights to any cheese that may accidentally fall on the floor.
The Muttley Crew would like the record to show that this arrangement is acceptable, but only because Mom promises to come home every day. Preferably with snacks.
Final Report:
Mom is loved at school. Mom is needed at home. The Panther makes a strong argument. But two dachshunds with sad eyes are very difficult to overrule.
More updates will be provided as soon as Mom reaches for her school bag again.
